


humor-ratio

by marginaliana



Series: Abandoned Britcom Snippets [3]
Category: British Comedy RPF
Genre: Gen, cuddlejumper - Freeform, unfinished snippet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 00:11:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10450635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marginaliana/pseuds/marginaliana
Summary: David doesn't do cuddling.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emef](https://archiveofourown.org/users/emef/gifts).



The trouble with being a comedian for a living, David has decided, is that everyone seems to think that you're up for any activity that might, however distant the possibility, be funny. It's even worse when you know it _would_ be funny, but you still don't want to do it, and then you start worrying that maybe there's something wrong with you for not valuing an action's humor-ratio over everything else (such as, for example, dignity).

He eyes the 'cuddle jumper,' so generously donated to the evening's pub run by the production intern who had acquired it for the show. 

"I don't cuddle," David says firmly. "I never have, and I'm certainly not going to start with _you_ , Lee."

"You wound me!" Lee says, one arm flailing in what David thinks is probably supposed to be a dramatic swooning gesture. Lee is, perhaps predictably, completely rat-arsed.

David is a little bit tipsy, too, but not nearly enough to volunteer for cuddling with one of his colleagues. He suspects that if anyone tried to get him that drunk, he'd end up dying of alcohol poisoning first.

"Don't you love me, David?" Lee says, leaning backwards precariously in his chair. "Oh, right, you like women. I keep forgetting."

**Author's Note:**

> Since it seems to be the moment for posting old Britcom snippets that never went anywhere, here's one of mine. It was going to be the beginning of 'five times people tried to cuddle with David,' but I never managed to write any of the others.


End file.
